From breaking glass ceilings to cracking inner walls

The popular narrative of female empowerment often emphasizes the need for women to break through glass ceilings, shatter stereotypes, and demand equal rights and opportunities in the workplace and society. Indeed, many women have triumphed over discrimination, bias, and adversity to reach high positions in their professions, industries, or fields. However, as some researchers and commentators have noted, the pursuit of external success can also create internal conflicts, doubts, and costs for women, especially when they face the challenges of parenthood, midlife, or other turning points in their lives. In this article, I will explore some of the reasons why ambitious women may feel lost, how these feelings can affect their well-being and relationships, and what strategies and resources may help them regain their sense of purpose and joy.

Part I: Why Over-Ambition Can Lead to Feeling Lost

Ambition, defined as the desire for achievement or success, is not inherently negative or harmful. Many women who are ambitious have used their talents, skills, and passions to pursue goals that align with their values, interests, and vision for their lives. However, when ambition becomes excessive, rigid, or disconnected from one's authentic self, it can create various forms of stress, anxiety, and dissonance. Here are some of the factors that may contribute to the sense of feeling lost among women who are over-ambitious: 

1. Unrealistic expectations: Women who set extremely high standards for themselves and others may feel frustrated, disappointed, or ashamed when they cannot meet them or when others fail to appreciate their efforts. For example, a mother who expects herself to excel in her career, maintain a perfect home, and raise flawless children may feel overwhelmed, guilty, or resentful when she falls short in any of these areas, or when she perceives others as judging or dismissing her. 

2. Conflicting roles and identities: Women who value both career and family roles may experience conflicts and tensions between the two, especially if they feel pressure to prioritize one over the other or to fulfill multiple expectations at once. For example, a woman who is a CEO may feel guilty or judged if she misses her child's school event, while a stay-at-home mother may feel undervalued or isolated for not having a career. These conflicts may also affect women's sense of self-worth, as they may feel they have to choose between being a good mother or a good professional, or that they cannot be both. 

3. Lack of meaning or purpose: Women who are driven by external achievements may find that their success does not necessarily fulfill them or provide enduring meaning or purpose in their lives. For example, a woman who has climbed the corporate ladder may feel empty or burned out if she realizes that her work does not align with her values or passions, or if she feels disconnected from the effects of her work on others. Similarly, a woman who has devoted most of her life to raising her children may feel bored or unfulfilled when they leave the nest and she faces an identity crisis or a lack of direction. 

Part II: How Feeling Lost Can Affect Women's Well-Being and Relationships

When women feel lost or unfulfilled despite their over-ambition, they may experience various forms of negative emotions and behaviors, and may also affect their relationships with themselves and others. Here are some of the possible effects of feeling lost among ambitious women: 

1. Anxiety and stress: Women who feel lost may experience anxiety, stress, or burnout, as they may struggle to cope with their conflicting demands and expectations, or with the uncertainty and ambiguity of their identity or purpose. These feelings may also affect their physical health or self-care habits, as they may neglect their sleep, nutrition, exercise, or other forms of self-care. 

2. Self-doubt and insecurity: Women who feel lost may also experience self-doubt, insecurity, or imposter syndrome, as they may question their competence, worth, or credibility in their personal and professional domains. As a result, they may engage in negative self-talk, compare themselves unfavorably to others, or avoid taking risks or pursuing new opportunities. 

3. Relationship strains: Women who feel lost may also experience strains in their relationships with their partners, children, peers, or mentors, as they may withdraw emotionally, become defensive or critical, or seek validation or comfort in unhealthy ways. For example, a woman may become excessively controlling or demanding with her partner or children, or may isolate or blame herself for her struggles at work or home. 

Part III: What to Do About Feeling Lost: Tips and Resources for Empowering Women 

Feeling lost or disoriented as a result of over-ambition can be a challenging and stressful experience for women. However, there are many strategies, tools, and resources that can help women reclaim their sense of purpose, joy, and fulfillment. Here are some possible tips and resources that women can use: 

1. Reflect on your values, passions, and strengths: Women who feel lost can benefit from taking time to reflect on what really matters to them, what activities or topics energize and excite them, and what skills or talents they naturally possess. By identifying their core values, passions, and strengths, women can align their goals and activities with their authentic self, and prioritize activities that bring them a sense of purpose and joy. 

2. Seek support and guidance: Women who feel lost can also benefit from seeking support and guidance from trusted friends, family members, coaches, therapists, or mentors. By sharing their struggles, fears, and aspirations with others, women can gain perspective, clarity, and validation, and may also receive practical advice or solutions. They can also join or create support groups or communities that share their interests or goals, and that offer mutual encouragement and accountability. 

3. Reframe your mindset and goals: Women who feel lost can also benefit from reframing their mindset and goals to shift from a fixed, rigid, or comparison-based attitude to a growth, flexible, or self-compassionate attitude. By practicing mindfulness, gratitude, or self-acceptance, women can reduce their stress and anxiety, and cultivate a more positive outlook on their lives and challenges. Similarly, by setting goals that are realistic, specific, and meaningful, women can focus on what they can control or influence, and take steps towards achieving them. 

In conclusion, feeling lost or disoriented as a result of over-ambition can be a frustrating and painful experience for many women. However, by understanding the factors that may contribute to these feelings, and by implementing some of the tips and resources suggested in this article, women can empower themselves to navigate parenthood, midlife, or other challenges in a more purposeful, resilient, and joyful way. By embracing their unique path and potential, and by connecting with their values, passions, and strengths, women can create a fulfilling and balanced life that honors their aspirations and needs. Remember, you are not alone, and you have the power to shape your life according to your vision and values.

(The views expressed here are solely those of the authors and do not in any way represent the views of exchange4media.com)